Takin It Back To The Old School

This whole thing started when I was five. I lived in Virginia Beach in a nice little neighborhood where there was always someone to play with. (This is what I remember...because 5 was a long ass time ago!) In this house is where I learned that you should not lick the freezer shelf (and that your mother will laugh hysterically as opposed to helping you figure out a way to remove your tongue and NOT leave a portion of it behind) as well as the age-old lesson of NOT washing your face with toothpaste (yes...I did that. And no...it wasn't a refreshing clean feeling).
I was in kindergarten and we walked to school everyday. We had half days and I rode the bus home...several times falling asleep, missing my stop, and my mother freaking out because the bus didn't drop me off. Everyday in Mrs. White's class, I sat beside Brett. And he was the cutest boy ever! He said his favorite color was pink because mine was pink. (I also had pink germs while the rest of the world had blue and refused to drink after anyone or share any food item, as their germs would mix with mine and turn them purple...I'm not sure why this was important to me. But it was.)
I discovered that he lived across the street from me after he was my unofficial love of my life for a while (I was 5 so it was probably a week or something). Lisa and I were walking to a yard sale that my mother had allowed me to go to and I thought I was a big girl because we weren't allowed to cross the street and go where my mother couldn't see us. As we found Brett, I remembered I left my money at the house and left Lisa with him to go get it. When I returned my whole little kindergarten world was destroyed! They were kissing! On the lips! Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
I didn't let them know I saw and I ran home and played on my swing set like an only child longing for a brother or sister (which I wasn't...because I had a brother. And he was mean!). Lisa came back later and I learned the bros before hoes rule...which isn't really how to put it when you lack a penis but you get my point. She was still my bestie (and said that his breath was smelly...must be those blue germs) and I told Brett he could no longer share my favorite color. Lisa's was purple anyway...they should share their purple germs and leave my pink ones alone...(for the record, I did not share drinks with Lisa anymore. We had pink germs...the only pink germs in the world! And she tainted them...)