Thursday, February 16, 2012

If I Stroke Out, It's Most Definitely YOUR Fault

I have felt like shit lately. My head pounds and I'm so exhausted that unloading the dish washer seems like climbing Mt Everest. My hands shake and my heart beats so fast and hard that I feel like it's going to bust out of my chest like Freddy Kruger. (You know what I'm talking about...that scene where he comes out of the kid's chest in the 4th or 5th movie....)
Today is the first day that I didn't need a nap or feel like I was going to fall out more than twice. (Really...it feels like an accomplishment) In my happy-I-didn't-die-today mood, I went to get some cash out of the bedroom so that I could take my beautiful spawn and my cute nephew to get ice cream tonight. To my surprise...the money that was there (we'll say $300+) is GONE! Where, you may ask. Well...I'm not sure.
Being that I rarely carry cash, I know that it wasn't me...because spending cash would be a notable moment. I'm assuming it was my 7 year old...who must have put it on her lunch account...even though she gets lunch free because her mother is broke.
It also could have been used to purchase Britney Spears paraphernalia, as she is obsessed. And when I find whoever took her to purchase such things with my hard earned sammich money, I'm probably going to kill them.
I mean really, who gets a kick out of taking money from someone who couldn't even afford their car payment and insurance? Seriously...it's ridiculous. And my kid is so grounded for her theft...cuz really...it MUST have gone to Brit Brit stuff. Because there is nothing else to show for it.

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