Maybe I'm Not the Best Role Model...

Kids are funny. Always. When you are supposed to be the person that lets them know that they did wrong, it's hard to be stern when they're funny. I remember an interview with Damon Wayans (I think) and he said "If it's funny, they don't get in trouble." This is the problem I have.
For example, when 2 out of 3 are fighting and the one that you birthed walks over to the swing set with such ambition that you wonder if she has been watching Steven Seagal and says "Oh yeah? I bet you're scared to get on a motorcycle!" *Insert pause for retaliation that never came* "Yeah. I said it!" with her hands on her hips...because she is in fact hardcore...what do you do? And when the one that is accused of being a "scaredy cat" that won't ride motorcycles uses the rebuttal "I'm gonna ding ding and sing a song" should you stop laughing (and snorting because it was that kind of funny) long enough to tell them to stop fighting? Cuz I found it hard.
I also feel semi guilty for the bully walking around saying "Someone screw with me!". I didn't realize I was the cause of this until a few days later...And this is why:

When the bully comes over, not only are we forced to listen to mass quantities of Bieber (while he sings and dances) but we are  also forced to listen to him talk about war history (which, honestly, do I seem like a history buff???) and then he relentlessly chases the girls punching them or threatening to take his shirt off. We have done many things to get him to stop torturing them with his fists and nipples, but boys will be boys. My general response to this is "Stop screwing with the girls!" (which I felt was a better alternative than "Stop fucking with the girls" which I almost said and caught myself...thus screwing came out) and he now uses it regularly.

I do apologize to Judy for her having to deal with it, as I'm sure it was my fault. The Bieber love he feels (and attempts to deny) is not.

I have also started good things! For instance, they speak a little Spanish such as "No Bueno" and "Aye Dios Mio". And while they're not going to need these things in school, I find them very useful in everyday life. Futuristicly I'd like to teach them some more Spanish (Una Cerveza Por Favor) and French (Ne'pas tes onions, fiche le comp, omlette du fromage, fermer le bouche) but I don't think they're ready for that jelly...