So back in the day, my boyfriend was Puerto Rican. (He was a giant ass...I do not say this because he was Puerto Rican. I say this because he was, in fact, an ass.) We fought horribly and I didn't take his shit. When he started a fight, something was getting broken and generally speaking it was something of his. Because I have the tendancy to be insane. Many people can confirm this...
Lately (like within the last 2 years) I have mellowed. I'm not sure why but it has happened and this is how I know:
One night (or morning more accurately as it was about 3am) my boyfriend called after a night out and what sounded like the equivalent of a case of beer. I asked how his night was and blah blah blah like ya do when ya hear from someone at such a time and don't have much to say (insane me would have said "are you out of your damn mind? Do you know what time it is?"). Somehow this conversation turned into a talk about my love for black men (which I don't really have...there are some very attractive black men- Lenny Kravitz, Blair Underwood- but I generally date white or brown boys). This stemming from the Puerto Rican Ass...as he was very dark complected. When I asked what this had to do with anything, I was informed I should shove a Baby Ruth up my "twat" so I could have all the chocolate I wanted in there.
WHAT?? Did you say that out loud???? I heard it come out of his mouth and kinda giggled...surely he was joking as no sane man would say that to a crazy person. Turns out that an insane man would.
So this became a favorite joke and we ("we" being my equally insane friends and I) regularly make Baby Ruth jokes...and would eat them in front of said insane man, smiling because the best jokes are the ones that nobody else gets. What makes it even better is that he never remembered stating this...
At least I remember the crazy shit I do!
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